George Carlin
1937-2008
Manhattan, New York City, NY
Public
Education
"I like to buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no 'I' in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not; But there is an 'I' in independence, individuality, and integrity."
"I love individuals. Every person you look at, you can see the Universe in their eyes if you're really looking."
"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits."
"Religion is like a pair of shoes...find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."
"America prays to God to destroy our enemies; Our enemies pray to God to destroy us. Someone's going to be disappointed...someone's wasting their fucking time...could it be everyone?"
"Three out of four people now believe in angels...what are you, fucking stupid?"
"It's disgusting, man. Disgusting that people still make the argument that we can nevr cut defense but we can cut education. Who the fuck is going o invade the US? Really? Really? Use your fucking heads! The only country that could invade America is America! We can afford to cut defense; we can't afford to cut eductaion. We cut education, in 50 years we will be stacked so high with idiots with shitty jobs that we won't have enough money to pay for defense!"
"Boy these conservatives are really something, they aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born you're on your own. 'Pro-life' conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to hear from you. No, nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no foodstamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked."
"I could never understand ethnic or natonal pride. Because for something you achieve or attain your own, not something that happenes by accident at birth. Being Irish isn't a skill, it's a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn't say 'I'm proud to be 5'11" or that I am proud to have a predisposition for colon cancer.' So why in the fuck would you be proud to be Irish, or proud to be Italian, or American or anything?""
"Property is theft; nobody owns anything. When you die it all stays here."
"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by tapping sandwiches all over your body."
"Realize how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half od them are stupider than that."
"Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they are such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful but I only have pictures of her on the wall."
"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the Universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
"There is no war on homelessness do you know why? There's no money in that problem, nobody stands to get rich off that problem. If you could find a solution to homelessness where the corporate swine and the politicians could steal a couple of millions of dollars each, you would see the streets of America clean up pretty God damn quick, I guarantee you that."
"I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do to churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like evryone else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate."
"That which is bullshit shall be ridiculed with equa, to greater amounts of sarcastic go-fuck-yourself-ness."
"Today is "Good" Friday, I don't understand what is so good about torture, and human sacrifice, or worshiping a dead guy on a stick - I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"It is my opinion that the base of most of the evil in the world is religion of anykind...It's acted as a floor and everything that has grown out of that and the hatred ampong and between religions is an example. The number of people that have died in the name of God far exceeds any other purpose such as political, or national interests that you can name and generally they are mixed anyway; Religion is thrown into the national interests."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they are cramming for thier final exams."
"The Christian worries whether their soul will go to heaven or hell when he dies; the atheist is more concerned about the fact he will be dead/(no longer be)."
"Frisbeetaraianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
"What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them."
"Everyone appeciates honesty, until you are honest with them, then you're an 'asshole'."
"I like it when a flower or little tuft of gras grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fucking heroic."
"Religion has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually CONVINCED people that there is an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not wnat you to do! And if you do ay of these ten things he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send YOU -- to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever until the end of time.
But he loves you! He loves you and he needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, yet somehow just can't handle money.Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now you talk about a good bulshit story: Holy Shit!"
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood,"
-George Carlin
Private
Art Effort
Name of Art:
GEORGE CARLIN
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Artistic Method Description:
Photo-Farmed and Color-Texture-Altered. Digitally drawn with a stylus on Iphone from referenced elbow statue. brought to larger resolution for prints large.
Evocative Art Kindle:
"The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.
The middle class: Pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.
The poor are there..Just to scare the shit out of the middle class."
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders."
"The ruling class keeps the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that they, the rich, can run off with all of the fucking money! Anything they can do to keep us fighting each other, so that they can keep going to the bank."
"Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners."
"Here is the scret news: All people are afraid. No one knows what they are doing. Everything is going to get worse; Some people deserve to die; Your money is worthless; No one is properly dressed; at least one of your children will disappoint you; The system is rigged; Your house will never be completely clean; All teachers are incompetent; There are people who really dislike you; Nothing is as good as it seems; Things don't last; No one is paying attention; The country is dying; God doesnt care; Shhh."
"The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument."
"An artist has an obligation to stay on route, to be going somewhere, there is a journey involved here, and that's the fun. So you're always going to be looking and searching and trying to challenge yourself. So without sitting around thinking of that a lot, it drives you and it keeps trying to be fresh, trying to be new, trying to call on yourself..to call on yourself a little more."
"The reason education sucks and will never, ever, ever be fixed is because the owners of this country don't want that. … I'm talking about the real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They got the politicians. The politicians are there to make you believe you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have owners. They own you."
"The owners spend billions every year lobbying to get what they want; You know what they want? They want more for themselves and less for everybody else. I'll tell you what they don't want. They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking — well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. That doesn't help them. That's against their interest. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears as soon as you come to collect it."
"They're coming for your Social Security money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know what, they'll get it. You know why? It's a big club, and you ain't in it. You and I ain't in the big club. They don't care about you at all, at all, at all, you know, and nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. That's what the owners want.
"If you try to fail, and you succeed, which have you done?" -George Carlin
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